Just a simple misunderstanding — The new Supreme Court ethics code released Monday looks good on paper [but] its lack of an enforcement mechanism means it will operate on the honor system … without transparent procedures for assessing whether it has been violated or consequences when it has. - Boston Globe The absence of a…

If those non-pareil capers from the Pleistocene could only talk — Garnet Blithe, an enterprising sophomore at Concierge Service College in Aspen, CO was cleaning his grandparents’ refrigerator for weed money when something odd caught his eye. “Two bottles of Jax beer tucked behind a pint of low-fat cottage cheese from the early Obama years,” Blithe says. “The same brand Steve…

Let’s start eating the f*cking broccoli — President Biden is trailing Donald J. Trump in five of the six most important battleground states one year before the 2024 election, suffering from enormous doubts about his age and deep dissatisfaction over his handling of the economy and a host of other issues … The results show Mr. Biden…

On our honor, we will do our best to cope with this shitshow these asshole Boomers left us — From: BSA HQ To: Scoutmasters Re: New Merit Badges on Blockchain As you know, we hired Deloitte Consulting to quarterback this project, which explains why our debt now exceeds that of Central America. Fortunately, Moody’s has committed to lift our debt security rating to DDD if/when the Department of Labor…

How Donald Trump and 30 million supporting actors pulled off the greatest hoax in history — Michael Lewis, celebrated author of Moneyball, The Big Short, and Going Infinite released a new book two hours ago that is so hot, Amazon already sold out its Kindle versions. It’s Showtime Suckah: How Donald Trump and 30 Million Supporting Actors Pulled off the Greatest Performance Art Hoax in History…

“All science is either physics or stamp collecting” — In an anthropology class I took in college, we had a particularly riveting discussion. It had nothing to do with anthropology. Yet everything to do with anthropology. We had a wonderful professor. Unlike some of the faculty, she was a skilled teacher, not just an expert in her field. In…

Meet the David Hasselhoffs of trailing edge science — Journalists get all “Neil DeGrasse Tyson” when the Nobel Foundation announces prizes every October. These include awards for physiology, chemistry, and other fields that the Dancing With the Stars crowd fails to comprehend beyond a simian level. Few realize the Foundation only announces its ‘A’ list to publications like The…

God plays dice and they’re coming up snake eyes — Just as quantum theorists demonstrated that protons are not irreducible but composed of elementary particles called quarks, so these same physicists have discovered that the basic particle which comprises the MAGA movement is likewise a medley of constituent parts — called the moron. By introducing morons into the world’s largest…

Puttin’ the ‘honey’ right back in ‘suckle’ — To our valued customers, Here at Ms. Briar’s Cleaning Solutions, we want our beloved clientele to appreciate the love and care we infuse into vetting our all-natural ingredients. Consider us your fussy yet endearing great-aunt, the one who smells like thyme and licorice schnapps and TollHouse cookies. Who pinches your…